Hamburger Club

September 2, 2008 at 9:31 am 32 comments

As you all know, I am founder and president of Hamburger Club.

I love hamburgers. Los Angeles is Hamburger heaven!

Well, there is a recently added movie to Hulu called “Burger Town.” Although I do not agree with the removal of “Ham” to the designation of the glorious sandwich, I do agree with the wonderfully cheesy hamburger song at the beginning of the documentary, as well as the superimposed Hamburger flying over the Hollywood hills as the Hollywood sign magically changes to “Burger Town.” This happens like 10 times.

As I frequently think about closing up the Los Angeles branch of Shoes on Powerlines, it is little things like hamburgers that make it better. But don’t get me started about Pink’s Hotdogs, because I hate Pink’s.


Entry filed under: General Blabbing, High Kicks, Los Angeles. Tags: .

be prepared Jerry Reed died


  • 1. melissalion  |  September 2, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Am I the lamest former LA County resident because I never ate at Pink’s? We’d drive past and it was always so crowded. And it was always so hot and did I want to stand in the heat and consume a hot dog? Outside. I did not. So I’d eat at the expensive Mexican shop in the Farmer’s Market. Do you go there? To the Farmer’s Market at the Grove? Yummy ice cream and loose leaf tea! And posh Mexican food. Yay Farmer’s Market at the Grove!

    I don’t know if they have burgers there.

    I ate at Tito’s Tacos a few times. Meh.

  • 2. Robert  |  September 2, 2008 at 10:14 pm


    Pink’s is for stupid tourists who want to pay 6 extra dollars to wait for 30 minutes to get a “Harry Potter Dog” with jalapenos and magic onions on it. Pink’s is exactly what is wrong with hot dogs today. Hot dogs should be 2 dollars, max. And that better include all the condiments I can put on there, because it is a freaking HOT DOG.

    And Tito’s Tacos is just like Pink’s. All hype. Garbage tacos. They are almost exactly like Jack in the Box tacos, and those are 2 for a dollar and you can get them in 5 minutes or less.

    My motto for any “popular” Los Angeles food joint (except In N’ Out, Tommy’s, etc.) is that the food is always billed as the best, but it is half the quality for twice the price.


  • 3. Robert  |  September 2, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    Also: you are apparently the only person still commenting on my blog! Your plaque and commemorative coin are in the mail!

  • 4. dave  |  September 2, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    Whoa, easy baby. I’m still here. I’m just selective. I need a post that I can really sink my teeth into. Like a post about hamburgers and tacos! I’ve never had a Tommy’s burger, but I recently had the best burger I’ve ever tasted at the Pleasureville Pool Hall in Pleasureville Kentucky. Seriously. Hands down the best burger ever in the most unassuming place ever. Nothing can touch these burgers. And when I say they are the best, I don’t mean in a ridiculous gourmet, free range, beefsteak tomato kind of way. I mean a real greasy, grilled onion, slimy slider kind of way. Oh man, I wish I had one right now.

    There’s a Tito’s Tacos in Walla Walla Washington that is really good. It’s just a truck that parks on the side of the road, but its better than any Mexican restaurant in Portland. Which isn’t difficult since most Mexican restaurants in Portland think that brown rice, black beans and wheat tortillas have something to do with Mexican cuisine. I got news for you hippies: real Mexican food is bad for you. It’s cooked in grease and lard and it has steak in it. That’s why its so freakin’ good. Actually, some of the best Mexican restaurants I’ve eaten at are in Walla Walla.

    On an unrelated note, I recently went to a friend’s bachelor party and there were a number of scooter and moped club people there. They were all total vintage snobs and they were looking down at my friend Lance because he rides a Helix. And I was thinking, Lance has more balls than all of you because he’s a short man with a balding ponytail who wears harlequin tights under shorts and rides a huge Japanese scooter and doesn’t give a fuck. He’s totally comfortable with himself and does what he wants. And besides, when they’re all wrenching on their shit for the tenth time that month, Lance’s scooter is starting right up and getting him where he needs to go. You know? Just ride what you’ve got and what you can afford. That kind of cliquish snobbery just turns me off on the whole thing. LIke the moped army kids who have tattoos where they got “cut in” to the “gang”. It’s a bicycle with a chainsaw motor, sir. Give me a break. That’s going to be hilarious when you’re 70.

    “Grandpa, what’s that tiny teardrop tattoo on your finger?”

    “Well, Suzy, that’s a tattoo from the moped gang I was in for seven minutes when I was 22.”

  • 5. melissalion  |  September 3, 2008 at 2:33 am

    I agree with Dave about Mexican food in Portland. But I just bought lard the other day to make my pies and I might just make some tortillas for myself. The good kind. With lard.

    Also it’s 3:25am and the three year old is watching the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice and I’m paying bills and reading blogs — what can I say, I lead a charmed life.

    Back to Mexican food — Dave, if you want to make it yourself, there are some good bodegas in St. John’s with excellent bagged chips. The food they prepare is gross, but the ingredients are there for you to make your own. Also, if you like being reamed for food, I recommend Por Que No on Mississippi.

    As for Mexican food in LA — Farmer’s Market, Lili’s in Malibu (she makes everything from scratch and it’s cheap) and Lula’s on Main Street.

    Or, go to San Diego.

    Am I still on topic? And furthermore, do I get the coin?

    Now the three year old wants to watch Nemo, and because I’m a slave to a small person, I must go find Nemo and go past the scary part at the beginning. It really is scary.

    Do we still say fast forward when referring to DVD’s?

    Best hamburger I’ve ever eaten was on a tiny outer island in the Bahamas in a conch shack, which is not a shack in the sense that it has a roof, but rather a grill on the beach where a guy makes burgers and geckos hang out on your plate. I drank a Kalik — a salty Bahamian beer– and ate a cheeseburger. It was wonderful.

  • 6. melissalion  |  September 3, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Also I was going to make some sort of joke about tear drop tattoos and how in East LA it means a homey was killed, but if you’re a 22 year old hipster, it maybe means the foam on your latte was too wet but I can’t quite make it work. It’s early.

    If someone else can make that funny, be my guest.

    I’m going to lie on the couch and cry quietly because I haven’t slept a full night in approximately 87 years.

  • 7. Isabelle  |  September 3, 2008 at 7:41 am

    Whoa, easy baby. I’m still here too.

    I don’t like Titos Tacos or that crap shack next door.

    I like brown rice but I don’t like rice in my burritos.


  • 8. dave  |  September 3, 2008 at 8:44 am

    Melissa- Thanks for the Mexican tip. I hear there is a place on Lombard called King Burrito that is supposed to have really good tacos (the irony!), but I haven’t tried it yet. I appreciate the fact that you’re starting the kid on the Jane Austin already. I’ve never seen any versions of Pride and Prejudice except the most recent outing which I really enjoyed. Finding Nemo is also a damn fine film. Once while I was traveling in Europe I was experiencing a mid-grade lone traveler anxiety/panic attack in Barcelona. I just couldn’t shake it. But I ended up watching Finding Nemo at this guy’s apartment and it really chilled me out. I’ve loved that movie ever since. I don’t remember a scary part in the beginning, though.

  • 9. dave  |  September 3, 2008 at 8:50 am

    Damn, whenever I’m too lazy to look up a spelling during a comment I inevitably choose the wrong spelling, such as Austin instead of Austen. Whoopsy Daisy!

    Isabelle- I don’t like rice in my Burritos either. It seems unnecessary. Like french toast with a side of toast… hey wait a minute…

  • 10. Robert  |  September 3, 2008 at 10:10 am

    The vintage vs. modern and the italian vs. japanese/chinese scooter thing has been beaten to death almost everywhere. Our club had a minor ridiculousness with our last rally from a bunch of vintage only guys. You summed it up though: ride what you like.

    However, I kind of dig the moped army/club thing. Sure, it can be viewed as a little silly… maybe. But it also goes back to the original heart of motorcycle gangs. Back then, it was Ton Up boys in England and outlaw biker gangs here. They would buy bikes they could afford then chop them up and squeeze as much horsepower out of them as they could.

    Now – you can’t buy a new bike without paying for it for 3 years, especially if you are in your early 20’s or in college. And don’t even think about working on it yourself. But mopeds are affordable, so now they do that. I was talking with my scooter club last night, and they used to buy and sell Vespas among themselves like they were trading cards. Now, you’ll be hard pressed to find a decent scoot for under 1500, and a decent Lammy for under 2500. Mopeds can still be had for a dime, if you are lucky (as you were with your Puch, you magnificent bastard). Throw a kit on it and start squeezing that 2 stroke for all its worth.

    So don’t hate on the moped gangs too much. But if they really do get teardrop tattoos, then that is pretty damn stupid. I’m against cliques and I’m against snobbery, but if they keep it to themselves then I can stand back and admire. If they will throw some back with you, then even better. (Here is where I stand up for Westside Scooter Club, the best scooter club in Los Angeles).

    And if they hang out at coffee shops, well, that’s just bringing it back to the Ace Cafe in London. Can’t race between two Cafes when you are drunk, so coffee was the drug of choice.

  • 11. Charley  |  September 3, 2008 at 10:39 am

    I’ve never eaten at Pink’s OR Tito’s, so I win.

    And to date I’ve had better Mexican food in Portland than I have in L.A. Doesn’t seem right.

  • 12. Robert  |  September 3, 2008 at 10:43 am

    Last night I had a garlic burrito from a Mexican joint in Westchester and it RULED!

  • 13. Kiala  |  September 3, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    I still really like Acapulco’s Gold.

    And I ate half of a hamburger like a month ago. It was so good I almost fainted.

    I’m thinking about having a whole one this weekend.

  • 14. melissa lion  |  September 3, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    I haven’t eaten at King Burrito, but I have driven past it. Not to brag or anything, but I did write an earth-shattering expose on Carne Asada burritos for the Willamette Week (my Pulitzer is in the mail) and I determined that the place on Alberta, the name of which I can’t remember, had the best burritos in Portland. It’s not the place with the fake brick and fake ivy on the walls, but the one with the white walls and the family pictures.

    I still say go to San Diego.

    Charley: A trip to Malibu is in order. It’s not that far. So, you’ll go to Point Dume, left on Heathercliff. In the Vons shopping center, tucked away you’ll find Lili’s. THE BEST MEXICAN FOOD EVER.

  • 15. melissa lion  |  September 3, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Dave the scary part is when the barracuda kills Coral (the mom fish) and eats all the eggs except Nemo. That part made me cry the first time I saw it.

    And when I was in Budapest after traveling through Europe alone for a month, I watched a whole rockumentary on Evanescense. It was in English and for about three days they were my new favorite band. I still have a soft spot for them because they were there for me in a lonely moment in Eastern Europe.

  • 16. Isabelle  |  September 3, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    Don’t mention Evanescence to Dave. Or as Dave puts it, “Effervescence.”

  • 17. alex  |  September 3, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    I like to eat Pink’s because I dig the way they poop-out.

  • 18. dave  |  September 3, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    Isabelle- do I really say Effervescence?

    Pip- Truth. I’m not hatin’ on the moped kids. Hell I’m trying to get mine runnin’. I just like to keep the snobs in check. Which makes me sort of a snob in a reverse kind of way. Dems da breaks!

    Melissa- I totally hear you on the music thing. Somebody let me listen to their I-pod while I was in Spain, and suddenly A Perfect Circle was the best band in the entire world. Now I think those guys are okay, but I’m pretty sure my sudden excitement for them at the time was due to the fact that I’d spent an entire month hearing nothing but bad European dance music… everywhere. That’s all those fools liked. Dance music and orange soda.

  • 19. Robert  |  September 3, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    I’ll get that bastard going for you!

  • 20. isabelle  |  September 3, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    Oh Dave, you caught me. It was one time. One time you accidentally referred to Evanescence as Effervescence.

    Something like, “…and then I hear that Effervescence come on the stereo…”

    Melissa – was there any TaTu on that guy’s Ipod?

  • 21. isabelle  |  September 3, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    Wait, mistake.

    Oh Dave – TaTu?

    I accidentally copied your “to” line.


  • 22. dave  |  September 3, 2008 at 10:33 pm

    Well come up here and get it going, then. Perhaps I could mail it to you, one part at a time, in manila envelopes.

  • 23. dave  |  September 3, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    Isabelle- What the hell is TaTu?

  • 24. Robert  |  September 4, 2008 at 7:44 am

    I think someone was drinking cocktails.

  • 25. Isabelle  |  September 4, 2008 at 9:35 am

    TaTu – faux lesbian Russian pop singers. Seems like something that would have been on that iPod. Kinda catchy.

  • 26. Kiala  |  September 4, 2008 at 11:16 am

    When I was in Europe (in Rome to be exact) I got so lonely and angsty I wandered around for three hours looking for a phone booth to call Dave.

    That’s right. See how we come full circle my friends?

    Evanescence is a pox on society.

  • 27. Charley  |  September 4, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Who wants Mexican this weekend? Malibu, here we come.

  • 28. T  |  September 4, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    Malibu for Mexican………oh baby……if only

  • 29. melissa lion  |  September 4, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    Oh god look what I missed by leaving the internets for a day.

    Yay Malibu! Point Dume to be exact.

    Anyway, Evanesence, well, I was in Eastern Europe, getting a divorce, alone and I hadn’t heard English in weeks and I had bathed with old Hungarian women and two 18 year old French girls and gotten a water massage and so you can see that maybe my brain was a little screwy.

    I also watched all of Singing in the Rain too, which wasn’t bad at all. And the rockumentary. Did you know the girl from Evanesense was a trained opera singer. LIKE PAT BENETAR. ‘Nuff said.

  • 30. Robert  |  September 4, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    Do you have the number for the two 18 year old French girls????

  • 31. melissalion  |  September 5, 2008 at 7:31 am

    I’ve also brushed my teeth while two 18 year old Swedish girls showered together. That was at a campground in Big Sur.

    I don’t know why, but I have amazing nubile-young-women-bathing-together luck.

  • 32. Josh  |  September 6, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    I enjoyed your post. Some of my best burgers in LA reside at The Nook, Ford’s Filling Station and Father’s Office.

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