spend all your money on nothing / gun talk

April 7, 2008 at 3:19 pm 8 comments

It feels crazy when you pay off debts – because you get paid and you never see the money, just your account balance. Then you log onto another website and type some numbers and then somehow the money in one account goes and pays off another account. And you feel satisfied event though you just bought nothing.

But it feels nice to be at zero, to spend an entire paycheck on nothing. Weird.

I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to think I’m weird. Or a Republican. But I’ve had the urge to go to a GUN STORE lately.

Yes, a gun store. I’m not interested in buying a gun, or holding any of the guns. I don’t really like guns, unless it is in a videogame and the other end is pointed at a zombie. Or if it is a laser gun.

So I have no idea why I want to go to this gun store – it is on Washington Boulevard. I guess what is drawing me to the gun store is what is painted on the outside. Two things. The first is the list of what they have, which includes “Swords and Armor.” Which is a funny dichotomy. Also, they have a phrase painted on the opposite side that says “We Buy Guns! Single gun OR entire collection.”

What if I only want to sell 3 of my 18 guns? I guess I’d have to come in three separate times.

So I’ll probably go in this gun store someday when I’m bored. And I’m completely aware that my curiosity will most likely be filled about 3.9 seconds after I walk in said gun store.

Actually, I do own a gun. It is at my parent’s house. My dad gave it to me, it is a rifle that he bought when he was in Vietnam. I’ve shot it a bunch as a kid. I shot up some targets. It is in a gun safe in his garage and it will probably never leave there.

Here is a cap to this rambling post: once I went to this scooter guy’s house and he brought out these two rifles and started going into the whole history of them and it was weird, and he asked if I wanted to hold them and I said no. Then he said something that almost made my laugh out loud – he said “I’ll probably be on this one when the shit goes down, and my wife will be on the semi-automatic.” I was like “What the fuck? Where did this come from? This guy has a nice Lammy and knows his Vespa stuff, but apparently he also believes there will be a time when the “shit goes down,” and when said shit does go down, a semi-automatic rifle will be necessary to either maintain order in this shit or it will be used to add to the disorder.

When will this Mad Max style apocalypse happen? Hopefully not during my lifetime. But if it ever does, I’m staying away from the guy with the really nice Lambretta.

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Entry filed under: General Blabbing.

80 ways around the girl short and sweet

8 Comments

  • 1. Isabelle  |  April 8, 2008 at 10:13 am

    You’ve been reading too much Janet Evanovich.

  • 2. Kiala  |  April 8, 2008 at 11:03 am

    Guns are for fags. They’re how faggots do it.

  • 3. Robert  |  April 8, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Actually, I am Janet Evanovich. How do you think I afford my fabulous clothes?

    And I guess I’ll be heading to the knife store instead.

  • 4. alex  |  April 9, 2008 at 9:40 am

    I have my gyrojet rocket gun for when the shit goes down, no homo.

  • 5. Nate to the Rageous  |  April 9, 2008 at 9:57 am

    I’m sick.

  • 6. melissa lion  |  April 9, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I went to a pawn shop in Alaska once. It was like going to a gun shop.

    I’m sorry, I have nothing today. I’m hungover still and it’s nearly 5pm.

  • 7. Robert  |  April 9, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    These last three comments have been optioned for a movie – congrats!

    Each comment will be a separate act, ending with a hangover. Coming Summer 2010.

  • 8. melissa lion  |  April 10, 2008 at 10:54 am

    Okay, I’m still sick so now I know it wasn’t a hangover. I’m glad because alcohol is all I have in this world. That and blogs.


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