A conversation between myself and my jealous Vespa

March 18, 2008 at 11:14 am 2 comments

I had my secretary Barb type up this transcript of an argument me and my Vespa had last night. I’m posting it here for posterity:

Me: Excuse me, Vespa. I need you to move for a second. I just got my new cam chain tensioner for the Honda and I want to try it out!

Vespa: Harumph.

Me: Hey, don’t give me that face. What’s wrong?

Vespa: Nothing. Go have fun with your Honda. I’ll just sit here, slowly leaking oil.

Me: What, are you jealous? Come on, you know how bad the Honda was. I could barely keep it idling. It was time for a rebuild.

Vespa: It was time? IT WAS TIME? You’ve only had that bike a fraction of the time you’ve had me! And what have I received? Some electrical work, a spare tire and a few spark plugs here and there.

Me: And some oil changes!

Vespa: Oh yes.. don’t forget the oil changes! But hardly a wrench has touched my internals! I’m running rough here, pal! You even made a separate blog for Honda!

Me: Well, I did rebuild your carb. It’s just that…

Vespa: Don’t forget you’ve been riding me every single day since you tore apart your motorcycle! I’m 36 years old, here!

Me: So is Honda…

Vespa: Don’t play that game with me. I’m a much simpler engine, and you take me on Rallys and you give people rides with me and you pop wheelies with me…. Look.. I’m.. I guess I’m just tired. And jealous.

Me: One second, I think this piston is done. But I want to keep talking about this! I do! I’d really just like to see how this piston came out. Wow.. that is clean. That is going to run great! Now if these valves can get just as clean…

Vespa: CLUNK.

Me: Vespa? Oh come on.. don’t give me that guff. Look, I’m putting a new spark plug in you right now. And hey.. your brake light is out! Let’s fix that! There we go.. all bright and new and great again! Don’t give me the silent treatment. The cold cowl. Vespa?


So Vespa has stopped talking to me, but actions speak louder than words. He is running pretty rough this morning, and definitely needs some attention. Luckily, I’ll be putting my motorcycle back together this weekend, so I can give my Vespa some more attention. I’m just hoping that I don’t have a major break down in the next few days.

Also, I have to consider any work I’ll be doing on my Vespa needs to be rather quick, as rally season is coming up. I’ll be missing the Rides of March at the end of this month, because I canceled my reservation for another vacation which ended up getting canceled so it was a double cancel bomb. However, I will be making Hedonism (camping, drinking, scooter jumping) and of course Westside Scooter Club’s Beach Invasion III.


Entry filed under: Aww crap!, Vespa.

Now it is 103 (was 66, then 80) Tell me if this happens to you


  • 1. Charley  |  March 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    What, like a … a SCOOTER?!

  • 2. Robert  |  March 18, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    Yes. What are you talking about? Start over. What? Jello? Confused.

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