do the remember!

April 19, 2007 at 7:04 pm


It’s that hot new dance: The REMEMBER! Let’s dance!

(music playing)

Hey.. do you REMEMBER when I said I was going to order that Euro turn signal kit for my Vespa, and they were out of stock? Well, they are back in stock! I just ordered them! I REMEMBERED!

(music intensifies)

Hey.. do you REMEMBER when I was doing that detox? Well, I’m still going strong on Day 3! I REMEMBERED to persevere!

(music slows down, for the jam)

Awww baby.. do you REMEMBER that dream I told you I had last night? I was at work, see, and my friend called me over to a large room! It was full of food! I went over and there was a BACON SANDWICH. I was about to take a bite, then I REMEMBERED I was on that detox, and set it down!

(whispered vocalization: “do the remember!”)
(music ends)

Whooo! That hot new dance was quite something! I hope I can REMEMBER the steps for next time!

(audience laughter, fade to black. Host goes backstage, takes off plaid sport jacket, opens drawer and pulls out some ten year whiskey, slugs it down, looks at picture of wife on desk, frowns, slams picture face down. Goes over to canned laughter machine, turns it on full blast, and drinks to the dead people laughing.)

Hey, Robert! This post was almost semi-entertaining until you went off the fucking deep end with that last parenthesis!

DO THE REMEMBER!

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